The things that still burn 4 years after my husband’s suicide
Every time I walk past Pronovias (a Spanish wedding dress designer) because I got married in a Pronovias wedding dress. I think it burns because it reminds me of how perfect my wedding day was, yet my marriage only lasted for 2.5 years. The more time that passes, the more surreal it feels to think…
A widowed millenial’s reflections on love – four years out
“Everyone says love hurts, but that is not true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. Everyone gets these things confused with love, but in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain and makes someone feel wonderful again. Love is the only thing in this world…
Kicking the shit out of option B – Four years on from my husband’s suicide
A couple of weeks after Karl died my best friend sent me the book “Option B” by Sheryl Sandberg – (Chief Operating Officer of Facebook and fellow widow). I told her that I thought it was way too soon for me to be considering Option B but it turned out that that book became my…
How to survive losing everything
“When you left, I lost a part of me It’s still so hard to believe Come back, baby, please ‘Cause we belong together Who else am I gonna lean on when times get rough? Who’s gonna talk to me on the phone ’til the sun comes up? Who’s gonna take your place? There ain’t nobody…
I wish you knew…
As promised, please find below my short film of my poem “I wish you knew” created by the wonderful and insanely talented Carlos Hernandez. The beauty of this film is entirely due to his magic. Just to give you some background on the creation of the film. This film was originally created to be a…
Nearly four years on from the suicide of my husband and I’m grateful
“At times, our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us” – Albert Schweitzer At the outset of this post, I want to stress that I am not grateful that Karl…
Dear suicidal person/ the letter I wish I could go back in time and send to my late husband
Right now your brain is lying to you. Your brain is telling you that if you leave, everyone will be better off, everyone will happier. This is fundamentally untrue. It is, in fact, the opposite of the truth. If you leave, your exit will cause a nuclear bomb to explode into the lives of everyone…
A Suicide Survivor’s perspective on Suicide Prevention Month
I should stress at the outset that, by Suicide Survivor I mean a person who has had to survive the suicide of a loved one, not a person who has survived a suicide attempt. September is Suicide Prevention Month. I am relieved that it is over. I have lost count of the amount of viral…
Life after a Fairy tale (the wedding, and the wedding anniversaries when your spouse is dead) – Endless love
“And your eyes Your eyes, your eyes They tell me how much you care Ooh yes, you will always be My endless love Two hearts Two hearts that beat as one Our lives have just begun” Six years ago, on Friday 29 August 2014 I married Karl David Francis McFarlane Norrington. It was the happiest…
I’ll go back to black – The End
“You went back to what you knew So far removed from all that we went through And I tread a troubled track My odds are stacked I’ll go back to black” It was Friday 24 March 2017. A horrible, grey, bleak day. The girl didn’t sleep well, neither did the boy. The boy had hurt…
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The Widowed Millennial 